The month of February has only 6 nights left in it and I haven't had a single date this month. A friend, and fan of the blog, is doing her part to help my project and has introduced me to someone who I hope to go out with on Thursday. We are comically worlds apart (or cosmically), which my friend knows but she's doing her part for my cause and dating education. Thank her when I write up that date.
Honestly I found myself really frustrated and burnt out this month. Two months into this dating project and I was already feeling this way? That's either a really scary foreshadowing of my future or it says something about dating in this day and age. I think part of my burn out was that I jumped into this with so much enthusiasm in January and signed myself up for a bunch of activities in addition to dates and before I knew it I had no time to myself. I really need downtime to re-charge and face the world. When I don’t have it I get really grumpy and my fuse grows short.
I think the other thing is that I really feel that this should be easier. I know that there are so many good single people in Seattle that don’t want to be single anymore. For some reason, connecting to these people has been challenging in the past.
When I was in college, and even post-college, finding someone that I liked and wanted to date was so incredibly easy. I remember my senior year of college I had broken up with one guy and immediately started dating another guy. I came out of the Business School one afternoon to find a rose on the right side of the windshield of my car and a note on the left side of the windshield. The rose was from the new guy and the note from the old guy (complaining about how he wanted to leave me a note and there was already a rose on the windshield). I had men fighting over me! About a year ago I found an old diary and one entry was like a laundry list of guys that I liked and me debating over which one I liked more and should date. I wish I had this problem right now.
Back to the easy theme and today – part of me feels like I’m doing this whole process because there’s some lesson for me to experience and something to learn about myself. I have the ability/good fortune/frustration of knowing that everything is going to be ok. I can feel and know that I’m not going to be single forever and I will end up with an amazing guy. The frustration is going through these experiences because I need to, because they get me to where I need to be in the long run & trying to be patient with the process and timeline.
This goes back to the theme of it should be easier. I kind of feel like I’m doing all of this, just to do it, and its not really about meeting someone. It actually wasn’t ever supposed to be about meeting someone. Maybe I lost the original intent of the blog the last month. It was to have fun and learn something about myself. It wasn’t about meeting the guy of my dreams.
I have these angel cards. They have one word on them and you can pick a card each day or whatever you like. The angel card that I’ve picked twice in the last 3 days is “Play”. I’ve been hard on myself this month trying to hit my dating quota & forgot to have fun. I’m very goal oriented so maybe it was a bad idea to give myself a quota.
March kicks off with a twenty-five hour flight to Cape Town, South Africa. Maybe it’s possible to meet someone nice while confined to an airplane cabin for that length of time. Even if the person sitting next to me isn’t up to snuff I can probably make my way to the galley and see who else is hanging around. I did meet someone on my flight back from San Francisco last weekend. It was actually a very woo-woo meeting. He came up to talk with me in the gate waiting area. Once I got on the plane I ended up changing seats so that a father and son could sit together and I found myself sitting next to the same guy from the gate area. I found out that we both have a fascination with quantum physics but I was too hung over to continue that discussion on the flight. He gave me his business card and we’ve emailed so perhaps that could develop into a date.
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